yesterday/today

i didn't realize quite how it would hit me.

i spent yesterday shaky and freezing, exhausted, with stomach pains and an inability to focus. i had to give a presentation, appear knowledgeable about countries i have never studied before and theories i'm only starting to get comfortable with, even if i don't really agree. i almost started crying throughout the day multiple times. i don't like this fear.

i talked to my mom and dad last night. mom talked to jody on the phone yesterday and said she sounds optimistic and in fighting spirits. we're all supposed to start making her hats, as she will not wear a wig. they're flying her to san francisco (ucsf) instead of portland - it's minimally closer to home, she has family there, specialists are the best, etc. she'll pull through. that's all i can think.

it's all knocked out my own immune system, and i've managed to develop a sore throat/cold/feels on the way to a sinus infection over night. going to make this even more fun.

two weeks til i go home. i have to finish at least one paper before i leave, preferably more. one professor (the considerate, young one) has cut down our reading for the remaining weeks and decided to make our final a multiple-day take home rather than an 8-hour take home. i could kiss him.

that's life right now. i watched the past three episodes of brothers & sisters last night as i was in desperate need of a break. i do think that it's one of the best shows on right now.... and sally fields is a remarkable actress. that's that. we're all pushing through.